3  Way Love
by Plainclothes cop
Summary: Sequel to "The Secret Life of Miley and Hannah."  Miley and Lily are dating, and Oliver complains that they aren't spending enough time with him.  Meanwhile, Jackson has an erotic dream about Miley, which really gets to him.  Involves opposite sex romance
1. An Apology gone Crazy

**In depth plot summary: Miley and Lily are having a same sex relationship, but pretty soon, Oliver starts to feel left out. Miley and Lily agree to spend more time with him. Oliver insists he doesn't have feelings for them, but once Oliver gets involved in the frenzy, suddenly some new sparks start to fly. You'll be surprised :). Meanwhile, Jackson feels really disgusted one morning when he wakes up from an erotic dream about Miley. Jackson's friends, Coop, Max, and Thor, try to help him figure out the meaning of the dream.**

**Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!**

** Chapter 1: "An Apology Gone Crazy"**

Miley and Lily had been dating for two months, and they were really enjoying it! They never thought it could be so fun to have a same sex relationship. The best part was, they weren't even embarrassed about it. They had been holding hands in public. At the mall, at school, and while walking barefoot down the beach. At the beach, they had sat down at Rico's while sharing a cup of punch with two straws in it. In an ice cream parlor, they were licking and biting the same cone! Outside of a private hotel, they were in bikini's in a hot tub; making out while squeezing each other's boobs.

One time, Miley walked into her room and was surprised to see something beautiful on her bed. It was a pink stuffed rabbit, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a card. The signature on the card read "Love Lily xoxoxoxo." Not only did Miley enjoy eating the chocolates, but she loved the stuffed rabbit too. She cuddled it and kissed it just like she would do with Lily.

Miley and Lily texted each other when they weren't together. One time at school, Lily texted Miley "I luv u sweetie." Miley sighed blissfully with her hand over her heart at that text. Then, Miley decided to get a little provocative. Miley texted Lily "I want 2 suck your boobs!" Lily burst into hysterical laughter at that. She also thought, _Say, that's not a bad idea!_

They had gone to the movie theaters together quite a bit too, watching chick flicks. Although the movies were about opposite sex couples, they still loved them. After all, they used to watch those kinds of movies together all the time when they were straight. One thing they liked to do at the movies was intimately feed each other popcorn. It did get on people's nerves a bit, but they didn't care. Whenever they went to see horror movies, they would scream at the scary parts and then turn to each other for comfort; and quite often that comfort involved kissing. Now that _really _got on people's nerves!

One time, Miley and Lily were watching T.V. at Miley's house. Jackson came into the room and intentionally farted at them. Miley and Lily were pretty disgusted, as usual, and Jackson laughed. But then, Lily got an idea. She whispered it to Miley, then the two of them started kissing in front of Jackson! That grossed out Jackson so much that he ran out of the room. Ha ha! Revenge!

Finally, since Robbie Ray was mostly letting Miley do what she wanted now, Miley had been having sex with Lily in her room. They did new things they didn't do the first time they had sex. Lily took the "I want to suck your boobs" suggestion to heart, and they took turns sucking each other's nipples. One thing they wanted to do was use a strap on dildo to pretend one of them was a guy (after all, they did still like guys). Unfortunately, they didn't have access to those because they weren't old enough to get into an adult store. They rubbed their butts in each other's faces, and it didn't take too long for them to give each other oral sex.

One day, Miley was at school. She and a few other girls were crowded around another girl listening to her talk. Miley was surprised the girls were nice enough to let her in with the group.

"I swear, some guys are so cocky!" said the girl who was talking. "Some are so cocky, they carry around mirrors!"

"A guy carrying around a mirror? That's gay" said Miley with a ridiculing smile as she waved her hand down. Miley then walked up to Lily, who was digging through her locker. Miley tapped her on the shoulder and Lily turned around. Miley kissed her on the lips while making an intimate verbal noise.

Suddenly, two people who they would rather not see showed up: Amber and Ashley.

"EWWWWWWW!" said Amber and Ashley at the same time.

"You're pretty gay yourself, Stewart!" said Amber.

"Yeah, you too, Truscot!" said Ashley. Miley and Lily never tried really hard to keep their relationship a secret, because they really weren't embarrassed about it. They knew this day would come, but they were totally prepared.

"_No_" said Miley. "Gay is what you would call two guys. We're girls!"

"Yeah," said Lily. "I believe the proper word you're looking for is 'lesbian'."

"And we're not even that!" said Miley. "We're actually more...bisexual!" Miley paused, then turned to Lily.

"You _are _bi, aren't you?" asked Miley.

"Of course!" said Lily.

"You are both such losers!" said Amber.

"Yeah! None of the cool girls do that!" said Ashley.

Suddenly, this little confrontation was interrupted. An unexpected person tapped Miley on the shoulder from behind. Miley turned around, and was surprised to see _Becka Weller!_

"Hi, Miley" said Becka.

Wow, Miley hadn't seen her for two years! The last time she saw her, Becka Weller had a crush on Oliver, and Miley/Hannah had meddled with them. It was a shame things ultimately didn't work out with them. But at this very moment, it was surprisingly comforting to see her!

"Becka?" said Miley smiling. "Becka Weller?"

Becka nodded. "From middle school?" said Miley.

"Yeah!" said Becka. "Um...Miley, listen...um...I couldn't help but notice...and...um..." Becka's voice trailed off, then she blurted out in a really exited tone "WILL YOU GIVE ME A KISS TOO?"

Whoa! Miley wasn't expecting this! Miley really savored the moment. Not because someone else besides Lily and Oliver took an interest in her, but because she was able to prove Amber and Ashley wrong. Ashley said that none of the cool girls kissed other girls, but Becka Weller was clearly one of the cool girls. In Miley's three years of middle school, every year, Amber and Ashley made what they called a "Cool List", which ranked every student from coolest to least cool. Miley memorized some of it by heart, and every year, Amber and Ashley put Becka up fairly high. And now, she had just asked for a kiss from Miley!

Miley turned to Amber and Ashley and gave them a gloating smile. Amber and Ashley looked shocked. Miley turned back to Becka, put her arms around her as Becka returned the embrace, and they shared a passionate kiss!

"Thank you!" said Becka bashfully. Becka walked away making blissful sounds.

After Becka left, Amber and Ashley gave Miley a disgusted look, then waved their hands down as if they were to say "Phooey!" and walked away. Miley and Lily embraced each other.

"We sure showed them what's attractive" said Miley.

"Hehe, yeah!" said Lily. "Say, maybe next time we can show them...our _tits._

"_Ohhhhh _no!" said Miley humorously. "They don't deserve to see them!"

"Gee, I don't think they want to see them" said Lily still joking around. Then she made a nasty grin. "Say," said Lily. "Maybe we can do it just to gross them out!"

"I'm with ya' on that, girlfriend!" agreed Miley.

Miley and Lily started kissing. They only kissed for about seven seconds when they heard a familiar voice say "It's ironic."

Miley and Lily broke off their kiss and looked in the direction of the voice. They saw that it was Oliver.

"You'll kiss each other, but...you won't kiss me" said Oliver.

Miley suddenly felt the poison of guilt in her heart. She and Lily walked up to Oliver.

"Oh my god, Oliver!" said Miley sympathetically. "We're so sorry! We had no idea you felt that way about us!"

"Y-yeah," said Lily. "N-not that we feel that way about you."

Miley hit Lily in the stomach. "Ow!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, _I _don't" said Lily. Miley hit Lily in the stomach again.

"OW!" said Lily.

"It's not that" assured Oliver. "It's just that...ever since you two started..._dating_..." said Oliver knowing it was a bizarre statement. "You've spent so much time with each other and hardly any time with me."

"Come on, Oliver," said Miley. "We spend plenty of time with you. Last week, you and I-...wait, no, that was Lily." Oliver looked at Miley as if he were pointing out her abandonment.

"Well, remember the time you and Lily-..." said Miley as her voice trailed off again. "Wait, no, that was last year."

"You two have been so close lately, I was kind of starting to feel left out" said Oliver sternly. "I thought we were friends."

It was true, Miley and Lily hadn't spent much time with Oliver lately. They forgot all about him. Maybe not on purpose, but they forgot about him. Miley suddenly started to feel they were losing Oliver. She loved Lily, but Oliver was important to her too.

"Oliver, we _are _friends;" said Miley emotionally. "And we're sorry if we haven't been paying enough attention to you lately." She almost sounded like she was about to cry.

"You know," said Oliver sadly. "I've always been frustrated not having any guy friends...you're both girls, so you have a lot in common...and sometimes, like now, you can seem so close, that I get the feeling..." Oliver hung his head. "You like each other more than you like me."

Lily made a sad expression.

Miley put her hands on Oliver's shoulders. "Oliver..." Miley said. "_That could never happen!_ I mean, sure, Lily and I have been acting like more than just friends lately-..."

"Wait a minute!" interrupted Lily. "_Acting?_ Oh, it's Becka Weller, isn't it? You kissed her, so now you have feelings for her!"

Miley turned to Lily, glared at her, and pretended to zip her mouth shut.

She then turned back to Oliver. "But we would _never _want to choose between each other and you" said Miley.

Miley hugged Oliver. Oliver hugged her back, and Lily smiled with her eyebrows slanted. "Awww!" said Lily. "Is there room for one more in there?" Miley, Oliver, and Lily all had a group hug.

"Tell you what," said Miley after the hug parted. "How about we go to the beach tomorrow? Just you and me, Oliver."

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed. "What about me?"

"Well," said Miley. "If you and I are in the same place, we'll be too tempted to-..." Miley ended her sentence by making kissy sounds.

The next day, when the sun had just barely risen over the horizon, Jackson was still in bed. He was having an awesome dream. He dreamed he was in a hot tub, naked, in a dark room, and not too far away, there was a female figure covered in the shadows; who he was really anticipating. He couldn't see her face, but he could tell she was wearing a robe.

"There you are, foxy lady!" said Jackson in the dream. "Come take a dip with..._the Jacksonator!_"

Without saying a word, the figure removed her robe and let it fall to the floor. Jackson saw her hot body, but her face was still covered in the shadows. Which didn't make sense, but this was a dream, _nothing _made sense.

"Ooooo, I like what I'm seein'!" gawked Jackson. The figure slowly and silently entered the hot tub. She was still in the shadows, but was revealed to have blond hair. Jackson may not have been able to see her face, but every instinct was telling him, _she's hot! She's hot!_ Jackson and the figure put their arms around each other and made out for a while.

"Oh, you're such a bad girl!" said Jackson. Jackson and the mysterious female figure kissed more as Jackson started to squeeze her boobs.

"You are the hottest girl I've ever seen!" said Jackson.

They kissed one last time, and when the kiss parted, the figure's head finally moved into the light, revealing her to be none other than HANNAH MONTANA! Jackson couldn't think of a logical explanation for this, but her face looked so gorgeous!

"And _you _are _so _one in a million!" said Hannah. Wow, she had an angelic voice too!

"Come inside me!" said Hannah. Jackson had never even kissed a girl in real life, but this was a dream, so it was easy for him to have sex. Jackson outstretched his legs, Hannah straddled him, and they started having intercourse. Hannah bounced up and down as her boobs bounced as well.

"Ooohhhhh, baby!" said Jackson feeling an incomparable rush of adrenaline.

"Ooooooo yeah!" said Hannah. "Clean my pipes!"

Hannah moaned and groaned for a while. "This feels sooooooooo good!" moaned Hannah.

As Jackson and Hannah had sex, suddenly, some music started playing. Hannah started singing to the music.

"_If we were a movie,_

_You'd be the pimp dad_

_And I'd be the hot babe,_

_Baring my assets all for you_

_We'd be runnin'_

_Down the beach naked_

_Late at night,_

_It's so right, _

_Sing the sexy song"_

"Oh!" said Jackson as the music kept playing. "I feel the music in me!"

"I _really _feel the music in me!" said Hannah.

As the dream sequence started to end, Jackson was talking in his sleep.

"Oh...I love you, Hannah Montana!" said Jackson talking in his sleep. "You're so hot and sexy!"

Jackson suddenly woke up, sat up, and his jaw dropped. As he regained his awareness of reality, he made a disgusted face, and he started to make some weird, goofy, groveling noises of panic and disgust. Jackson couldn't believe what he just dreamed about! In a hot tub! With his sister! Having sex! BLLLLEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHH! He suddenly had a painful feeling in his stomach, and his throat felt like the sewer. He put his hand over his mouth, leaped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and barfed in the toilet!

Hearing the noise, Robbie Ray, who always woke up earlier than Jackson and Miley, came into the bathroom. "Sweet Nelly at the rodeo!" Robbie Ray exclaimed. "What's wrong, son?"

Jackson gagged. "Uh...I ate Aunt Pearl's garlic cheese pie, and somethin' tells me my stomach didn't agree with it!" lied Jackson.

"Awww no," said Robbie Ray. "Aunt Pearl ain't' gonna' like this when we go visit her and Uncle Earl next week. You know how sensitive she is about her cookin'. Jackson, when we sit down to eat, just choke it down and tell her ya' love it."

Even though Jackson was lying, he was surprised at what Robbie Ray said, had Jackson been telling the truth. Jackson looked at Robbie Ray as if he were to say "You want me to do _what?"_

"Don't worry!" said Robbie Ray. "I'll bring the stomach medicine!"

Later that day, Jackson was at school. It was lunch period, and he still hadn't gotten over the dream he had about Miley. It made him barf, so he almost felt he was scarred for life. Jackson carried his lunch tray over to where Coop, Max, and Thor were sitting.

"Whoa, Jackson," said Coop. "Why the long face?"

"Did Becky put out a restraining order against you?" said Max humorously. Coop and Max laughed.

"_Did Becky put out a restraining_-...NO!" mimicked Jackson. Jackson sat down. "But I do still feel pretty lousy."

"Come on, Jackson," said Coop. "Tell us."

There was a brief pause. "I had a dream" said Jackson. "A sex dream."

"Ooo!" said Coop. "What was it about?"

Jackson paused, then made a disgusted face. "Mah' sister!" said Jackson.

Coop and Max looked at each other and went "OOOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

"Shut up, guys!" said Jackson. "It ain't funny!"

"Well, gee, Jackson, it was just a dream" said Max. "Did it really get to you that much?"

"What really bothers me," stated Jackson. "Is how I felt about it and how it literally made me barf when I woke up! But you know what the weird thing was?" Jackson paused. "During the dream...I _enjoyed _it."

Again, Coop and Max went "OOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!" Then they both just laughed normally.

"I've found mahself' startin' to question both mah' sexuality and mah' integrity" said Jackson. "I would _never_..._ever_ have sexual feelin's for mah' sister. I don't know what could possibly make me think I ever would! I mean, I love her, and I'd cry my eyes out if she died, but I don't wanna' get down and dirty with her!"

"Oh, I hear ya', buddy" said Thor who had been shy most of the conversation. "I once had a sex dream about my sister. I dreamed she was..." Thor started staring off into space. "Out in the pasture..." said Thor continuing his sentence. "Milking a cow...and then suddenly...she puts the cow's udder in her mouth. Oh, wait...I don't remember whether it was the cow's udder...or my penis."

There was a brief pause. "Jackson," said Coop holding back laughter. "I don't know how to tell ya' this, but...in some part of your brain...you love Miley for more than just a sister!

Jackson was disgusted. "Oooooohhhhhhh, excuse me while I barf for the second time in one day!" said Jackson. "Miley is the brattiest, most annoyin', most obnoxious sister in the world! We're always fightin'! She thinks she's so much better than me, and quite frankly, she makes me feel bad about maself'. She's always been so much more talented than me, and let's face it, she's the girl in the family! She's daddy's little girl! She's always been mah' daddy's favorite!"

"Well, Jackson," said Coop. "If that really is how you feel, if yo' worried about things you might be feellin' deep down inside, you need to do somethin' to clear your conscience of those feelins' and better convince yoself' that you hate her."

"And how do you propose I do that?" asked Jackson.

"Well," said Coop. "Maybe you could...do somethin' real mean to her."

"Like what?" asked Jackson.

That night, at about 11:07 pm., Miley had just gotten back from a Hannah Montana concert. She had also been partying with Lola Luftnangle, Traci Vanhorn, and a few anonymous celebrities. Miley was getting ready fro bed. She stretched and yawned. "What a concert" said Miley. "I love my fans and friends, but they wear me out."

Miley climbed into bed, then something startled her. Her bed sheets underneath snapped out of place and rolled up! She was trapped in a pocket!

"Huh? What-...WHOA!" Miley exclaimed frantically. She struggled and grunted hard to get out of the pocket, but she couldn't get out.

"HELP! HELP!" Miley screamed.

Suddenly, Jackson ran into the room and pointed and laughed at Miley. Miley looked at Jackson shocked and angry. "_You _did this?" Miley accused.

"Looks like we got a monster in the pocket!" insulted Jackson. With that, Jackson ran out of the room laughing. Miley screamed "DADDYYYYYYYY!"

Much earlier that day, at about 4:00 pm., Miley and Oliver were walking down the beach, just as Miley had promised Oliver. Miley felt really bad about not having spent any time with Oliver, so she wanted to make it up to him, and with Lily out of the picture, there were no distractions. She wanted to give Oliver a good time.

They found a spot and stopped. "Well, Oliver, you feel Lily and I have been ignoring you lately," said Miley. "But today...it's all about you" said Miley sweetly.

Oliver wasn't sure how to interpret that. "Uh..." stated Oliver. "Are you being sarcastic or sincere?"

Miley hugged Oliver. "Oh yeah," said Oliver hugging Miley back. "Definitely sincere."

Miley and Oliver spread out their towels on the sand. "Hope you don't mind," stated Miley. "But I think my skin needs a little sun."

From Oliver's point of view, what Miley did next seemed to happen in slow motion. Miley took off her shirt over her head, revealing she was wearing a blue bikini top underneath. The removal of her shirt caused her boobs to bounce briefly. Oliver didn't know why, but somehow he felt mesmerized by the sight.

Miley smiled at Oliver skeptically. "Whatcha' doin'?" asked Miley through clenched teeth.

"Um, uh-uh, nothing!" said Oliver nervously. "You know what, some of my skin needs a little sun too, so I'll just..." Oliver finished his sentence by quickly taking off his shirt. Miley shrugged.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion too. Oliver watched in awe as Miley took off her shoes, socks, and long pants, revealing that she was wearing a blue bikini bottom underneath. In the process, the skin on Miley's thick legs jiggled a bit. Miley then lifted her leg up and scrunched her toes together a few times.

Miley looked at Oliver. "You ok, Oliver?"

Gee, what was wrong with him? Was Oliver gawking at his girl bud? Did he actually like Miley's body? He never gawked at her before, so what was going on here?

"Ummm..." stated Oliver. "You know, I'm actually feeling kind of feeling hungry right now; I'm going to go buy some popcorn."

"No need!" said Miley with a smile. "I could use some popcorn too. _I'll _go buy some."

Oliver sat down on his towel and Miley headed towards Rico's. Oliver felt mesmerized again as he kept a close eye on Miley's butt. "Hoh!" said Oliver in a high pitched tone.

Miley arrived at the counter of Rico's. To Miley's dismay, Rico himself was right behind the counter.

"Ill take some popcorn and two cokes" said Miley.

Instead of serving her right away, Rico was gawking at Miley's boobs. "Hubba hubba!" said Rico. "Hope I get a rubba!"

Miley had just about enough of this sick little pervert hitting on her. "You'll get nothing and like it" said Miley sternly.

"Well, in that case," stated Rico. "Your popcorn and soda are going to cost you 90 cents extra! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Damn, this kid was evil! Miley growled in anger as she fished through her wallet.

A moment later, Miley came back to Oliver with two sodas and a box of popcorn. She sat down on her towel next to Oliver.

"Gee," said Oliver. "You only got one box; I thought you wanted some popcorn too." Oliver then changed his voice very sternly. "Rico ripped you off, didn't he?"

"Well...yes and no" said Miley. "Rico did raise the price because of something I said to mess with me, but I was only going to get one box anyway." Miley smiled. "I was thinking maybe we could share it."

Awwwwww! That was so sweet! Miley was only Oliver's female friend, but he had to admit, that sounded romantic!

Oliver smiled and said "You're really sweet Miley." Miley smiled back. Oliver took a handful out of the popcorn box and ate it. Miley took out a handful and used the other hand to eat one piece at a time. Oliver took some more, Miley took some more, then they both reached into the popcorn box at the same time as their hands touched. They looked down at their hands in surprise, looked at each other's faces, then smiled. Wow, this day was getting more and more romantic by the minute. To Oliver, at least. Despite them being just friends, Miley and Lily had been ignoring him lately, and Oliver didn't have any other friends. He couldn't help but enjoy this.

A while later, the popcorn box was almost empty. Oliver tried to take a sip of his soda, but it was empty.

"Oh, god," said Oliver. "This popcorn is making me really thirsty, but I'm out of soda!"

Miley smiled. "Here, have some of mine" said Miley as she handed Oliver her soda.

Whoa! Miley wanted to share a drink with him? Oliver always assumed Miley would think that was gross. After all, it was a romantic interaction, and he was sure Miley never had feelings for him. If not, why was she acting like this now? Needless to say, this was a very positive feeling.

Oliver smiled, breathed bashfully, took Miley's soda, and drank some of it. _Wow, Miley has both outer beauty and inner beauty, _Oliver thought.

"Whoa!" Miley suddenly exclaimed. "I totally forgot we need to apply sunscreen!"

Miley took a bottle of sunscreen out of her bag and opened it. "Lift your arm" said Miley.

Oliver hesitated. "You mean, you're gonna'-..." stated Oliver getting more and more shocked at Miley's behavior.

"_Yeahhhhhhh"_ said Miley nodding with a big smile.

_I can't believe she's actually going to do this! _thought Oliver in a sissy voice. _On top of that, she's showing more skin than I am, and yet, she's more concerned about my skin than her own!_

Oliver lifted his arm up with a smile and for the next two minutes, Miley applied sunscreen to both of Oliver's arms. To Oliver's surprise, she applied it slowly and intimately. Wow, first Miley gets mentally romantic, now she was getting more physical. In a way, the physical part was mental too. Miley didn't have to do this, but she chose to, and that was inner beauty. Oliver shivered with pleasure as Miley applied the sunscreen.

"Gee," said Miley still smiling. "Are you hot or cold?"

_Well, I definitely know one of us is hot, _Oliver thought. But then he thought again. _Hu-...wait a minute, what am I saying? I don't like Miley in that way! _Oliver paused his thoughts. _Do I? _thought Oliver in a sissy voice.

"Well..." said Oliver out loud. "I've never had a girl do this for me, so...it's a little overwhelming."

"What about your mom?" asked Miley.

Oliver inhaled deeply with a smile. "Not the same thing," Oliver said bashfully. "Trust me."

"You are such a dork," said Miley. "It's no wonder I feel so comfortable with you."

"Gee..." said Oliver as the blissful look faded.. "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended."

"Trust me," said Miley. "It's a compliment."

Miley finished applying sunscreen to Oliver's arms and said "Ok, now layyyyy down" said Miley stretching out the word "lay."

Half of Oliver was getting more exited, but he knew Miley too well not to suspect something else.

"Um...this is a trick, right?" accused Oliver. "You're gonna' bury me in the sand and pour ants on me."

"Stop living in the past, Oliver," ridiculed Miley. "We were 13! Besides, burying you in the sand would take forever. I couldn't do it unless you held still."

"Oh, I get it!" said Oliver. "You're going to trick me into laying down and then pour the rest of your soda in my face!"

"Oliver, honey," said Miley gently. "The longer you argue with me, the sooner you'll get sunburned."

Awwwww! Now that was a nice tender thing to say! Oliver felt like putty in her hands when Miley said that. Miley had never called him "honey" before. Oliver smiled bashfully and layed down. Miley squirted some some sunscreen onto Oliver's chest and started rubbing it in slowly and intimately as she smiled into Oliver's eyes.

"Ya' like that?" asked Miley. Oliver found himself quietly and blissfully hyperventilating. "Oh yeah," said Miley. "You like it."

Miley then started applying sunscreen to Oliver's stomach. "So..." said Miley sweetly. "Am I off the hook for spending too much time with Lily?"

Oliver was so mesmerized by what Miley was doing for him, and he was getting so turned on. So much, that he didn't entirely pay attention to what Miley just said. Without even thinking, the only words he could get out were a very tense "I love you."

"WHAT?" shouted Miley taking her hands off of Oliver's stomach.

Oliver sat up and gasped. Uh oh! Those words really shouldn't have come out of his mouth! Oliver always knew he didn't like Miley as a girlfriend, but he had known Miley for so long, and now she was making him feel so good that...he wasn't sure! Word vomit! Word vomit!

Oliver slapped himself to try to come to his senses. "Uh...I mean," said Oliver. "You are definitely off the hook."

To Oliver's surprise, Miley acted like Oliver didn't say what he just said. "_Good"_ said Miley sweetly. She handed Oliver the bottle of sunscreen. "Now you do me."

Oooooooo! Oliver thought the word vomit would cost him this beautiful afternoon, but now it was about to get even better!

A moment later, Miley was laying on her stomach while Oliver was applying sunscreen to her legs. Oliver was getting really aroused doing this, and his face showed it. He couldn't believe he was rubbing his female friend's legs!

"Yeah, that's how you do it" said Miley. "You really are smokin' Oaken."

Wow! What a compliment! In the past, Oliver referred to himself as "smokin' Oakin'", as a way to sound cool and confident. Miley and Lily both kind of looked down on him for that, because he sounded cocky, and that he was really a dork. But now, Miley actually _called _him smokin' Oaken! He was starting to like Miley more and more on this very special day. He was getting more and more aroused rubbing sunscreen on Miley's body, and he wasn't doing a very good job hiding his arousal!

_Boy am I glad she can't see my face!_ Oliver thought. He couldn't explain Miley's romantic and sensual behavior, but considering her reaction to the word vomit, she obviously still didn't like Oliver as a boyfriend either. Because of that, Oliver had to hide what he was feeling right now. The more Miley drove him crazy, the harder it was for him to hide.

Then, a nervous thought occurred to Oliver. _But what if she asks me to do the tops of her feet?_

After Oliver finished Miley's legs, Miley got off her stomach and sat with her legs partially stretched and her feet flat. "Now," said Miley. "Do the tops of my feet."

HELP! Oliver hesitated as he frowned with his teeth showing and eyebrows slanted.

"Egh!" said Oliver in a high pitched tone.

"What?" said Miley. "Oliver, you're looking at me like I'm your grandma!"

"It's...not that" said Oliver in a sissy voice.

Miley half shrugged impatiently. "Come on, Oliver," said Miley. "You've known me for such a long time. Don't be such a wuss."

Oliver looked down at Miley's feet, and Miley wiggled her toes briefly. That made Oliver all the more nervous. Summoning some courage, Oliver squirted some sunscreen on Miley's feet, and positioned himself so that his face was directly over Miley's feet, so that way Miley couldn't see his face. With all his will, he started rubbing it in while smiling and making aroused facial expressions.

_I can't believe I'm touching Miley's feet!_ thought Oliver.

A moment later, Miley had applied sunscreen to Oliver's back, and now Oliver was applying it to Miley's face and neck. Oliver finished fairly quickly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" said Miley.

Oliver was afraid of this. "Like what?" he asked. Miley answered Oliver's question by putting her hands under her boobs and bouncing them twice.

MMPPPHH!

"I wouldn't want my hooters to get sunburned, now would I?" said Miley.

Oliver was SHOCKED! Hearing about Miley and Lily having sex and being a couple was big news, but _this _was UNBELIEVABLE! How far was Miley willing to go to save their friendship?

"You can't be serious!" Oliver exclaimed.

"But I am!" said Miley.

At the most dramatic moment of his life since she told him she was Hannah Montana, Oliver took a deep breath, and began to apply sunscreen to the exposed parts of Miley's boobs.

The next day, Oliver and Lily were walking around the mall. Miley had hung out with Oliver, now it was Lily's turn. As Oliver and Lily talked, Oliver couldn't stop thinking about what Miley had done. Why was she acting like she was attracted to him? Was she just trying to redeem herself, or did she have some kind of ulterior motive? Did Miley and Lily plan it together? Did Lily know? So many questions. To top it all off, Oliver was going through some very conflicting feelings right now.

The conversation topic eventually lead to Lily talking about one of her dates with Miley. "Then suddenly, he slashes her stomach" said Lily. "I was like 'Eeeeeeep!' Then," Lily then shifted her voice to a bashful tone. "Miley comforts me by putting her arms around me and kissing me!" Oliver didn't have much of a response to that. "Oliver, are you OK?" asked Lily concerned. "You...don't seem to be enjoying our outing.

"I don't know" said Oliver. "My heart is some-...I mean my mind is somewhere else."

"What are you thinking about?" asked Lily. "Amy Stanton's boobs?"

"Welllllll you got the 'boobs' part right..." said Oliver. "Buuuuuut not Amy Stanton."

"Oliver, do you mind if we sit down?" asked Lily. "My feet are killing me."

Oliver rolled his head. "Ohhh, please don't use the word 'feet'!"

"Come to think of it, my ass hurts too" said Lily.

"_Ass!"_ said Oliver squeamishly followed by a sissy squeak.

Lily grabbed hold of Oliver's arm. "Come on" said Lily. Lily and Oliver walked over to a bench and sat on it. "OK, Oliver," said Lily. "Seriously, what's bothering you?"

"It's..." said Oliver. "It's Miley."

Lily hesitated. "What, does she keep hitting you?" asked Lily.

"No" said Oliver. Oliver paused. "As you know," stated Oliver. "Yesterday, I was at the beach with her. Usually when we go to the beach together, she just wears her regular clothes, and she _was _wearing her regular clothes, but then...she started taking them off, and-..."

"SHE GOT NAKED ON THE BEACH?" shouted Lily.

"No no no!" said Oliver. "She was wearing a bikini underneath her clothes, and...I've never thought this before, but...she looked _awfully hot._

Lily smiled in surprise, then smiled provocatively. "She _is _hot, isn't she?" said Lily nodding her head. "That's why she's my girlfriend."

"And then," stated Oliver. "All of a sudden, she starts being so nice to me. She hugs me and buys me some popcorn and soda...it was her idea to share just one box. I must say, that felt romantic. Then, I ran out of soda and I was still thirsty, and..." Oliver started to stare off into space. "She gives me some of hers. Just to think she put her mouth on the same can as me, wow..." Lily started to look at Oliver skeptically. "Then," said Oliver. "To top it all off, she insisted on us both rubbing sunscreen on each other. She let me do every inch of every exposed part of her body." Oliver paused. "During the time we were there," said Oliver. "She said something really sweet." Oliver paused again. "She called me a dork."

Lily didn't see what was so sweet about that, that sounded more like an insult. "But she said it with purpose" said Oliver. "She said 'It's no wonder I feel so comfortable with you.'" Oliver paused. "I also still keep thinking about when we were all talking about you two spending more time with me," said Oliver. "And she says 'Oh my god, Oliver! We're so sorry! We had no idea you felt that way about us!' That was just amazing; and it was so tender how she said 'We would never want to choose between each other and you.'"

Lily frowned with her teeth showing and her eyebrows slanted; starting to feel uncomfortable with what Oliver was saying. Oliver didn't pay much attention to her expression, though.

"You know, Lily," stated Oliver. "For two years, I was obsessed with Hannah Montana. That is, until I found out it was Miley. But over the years...I've really gotten to know the girl under the wig, the voice behind the music, the healthy interest over the conflicting obsession." Oliver paused briefly. "You and Miley have been friends with me for so long, because you're so open minded. You do treat me like a dork, but that is seriously a side of Miley I have never seen before. You'd almost swear...she liked me for more than a friend. So that is why...I think I have feelings for Miley."

Lily was starring off into space with a surprised look. "Lily?" said Oliver. Lily didn't respond. "_Lily?"_ said Oliver. Lily still didn't respond. "_Lily?" _said Oliver waving his hand in front of Lily's face. "LILY!" yelled Oliver. Oliver took off Lily's hat and smacked her upside the head.

Lily went through a few motions as she started to come to her senses. "Wow" said Lily. "I wasn't expecting that. I gotta' hand it to you, that was pretty deep. I expected you to just say you saw her in a bikini and you think she's hot and end it right there."

"Do you hate me, Lily?" asked Oliver gently.

"Um...n-no! Of course not" said Lily. "I mean, Miley is already mine, and..." Lily's voice trailed off. "What she did yesterday was probably just a mood swing anyway!" said Lily in a funny voice.

The next day, in the morning, Miley was just waking up. Before getting out of bed, she noticed something. She felt around her bed sheets, and felt something wet. "That's funny," said Miley. "I don't remember having a wet dream." Then suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She made a painful, disgusted face. "Oh no..." she said painfully. "It's not cum..." If her sheets were wet, and she didn't have a wet dream, that could only mean one thing: She had wet the bed.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Miley screamed. How did this happen? Miley was 16! Only little kids wet the bed! Miley looked to the side of her bed. "Ah-...!" she shrieked. She saw a bucket of water.

"_Jackson!"_ said Miley slowly in an angry demon voice. Miley realized Jackson had stuck her hand in warm water while she was sleeping, which made her wet the bed! Miley got out of bed and picked up the bucket of water. "Well then," she said. "I know just what to do with this water!" To get back at Jackson, Miley would go into Jackson's room and dump the water on his head (hopefully getting his bed wet in the process).

But as Miley exited her room, she tripped over something and had no idea what it was. "WHOA!" she screamed as she tripped. Miley fell head first onto the floor, with her head landing in the bucket! Since the bucket had water in it, she made some verbal bubbling noises after she fell. Miley couldn't believe it. Jackson knew Miley would come and dump the water on him! He had planted a trip rope just outside of Miley's door!

Suddenly, Jackson emerged in the hallway and pointed and laughed at Miley. "Looks like the little pop star became a little _pee _star!" insulted Jackson. Jackson ran down the hall laughing and did a cocky jump on his way down. Miley turned over, took the bucket off her head, and breathed heavily briefly.

"DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

That night, Lily was sitting in her room, alone. Thinking. Pondering. There were about a gazillion words jumbled up inside her head right now. She couldn't stop thinking about what Oliver said. She had some kind of negative feeling, but she wasn't sure what it was. She feared she couldn't talk to Miley or Oliver about this. At this point and time, it was something she had to deal with on her own.

"Oliver likes Miley, wow" said Lily out loud. "So...my guy friend likes my girlfriend." She paused briefly. "Is this healthy?" Lily said. "Will it have any negative effect on our relationship? How is Oliver going to act around Miley from now on? On top of that, how am _I _going to act around _both _of them?"

Lily paused briefly. She couldn't believe she was talking to herself. "I can't believe Oliver likes Miley" said Lily. "Oliver _is _a dork, but Miley has done some pretty dorky things in front of Oliver too. I don't _blame _him for liking Miley, because I love her, but why?" Lily paused again. "Gee," said Lily. "What am I so afraid of? Am I afraid of Oliver stealing Miley from me?"

Lily thought about that for a moment. "A guy stealing a girl from a girl!" said Lily half humorously. "Boy, would that be bizarre!"

The next several things Lily said were stern and nervous. "I mean...pfft! Pfft! I mean-...pfft! Why can't-...pfft! Why can't Oliver just find a girl of his own? What does Miley have that I don't?"

Lily suddenly gasped and covered her mouth. Oh no, what did she just say? She really shocked herself! She didn't even think that last sentence! It just came out of her mouth! It really hinted at something, and Lily didn't like where it was going! It was contrary to what she had thought her whole life!

"Oh no..." said Lily. "I think _I _like _Oliver!"_ Lily started to get scared of her own emotions. _Did _she like Oliver? The guy who she knew was a dork? Was she ashamed of it? Perhaps guilty? Is that what was bothering her? If she did like Oliver, what would she do about it?

"Oh no," said Lily. "What do I do?" Among all the paranoia, a really provocative thought came to Lily's head. She smiled. "Well..." said Lily. "I know the _first _thing to do."

Lily slowly pulled down her pants and slipped them all the way off, then did the same with her panties. She layed on her bed, barefoot, with her legs open. Lily started masturbating, moaning softly and pleasantly. "Ooooohhhhhh, Oliver" she moaned. Lily came up with the perfect fantasy. She also decided to _talk out _her fantasy.

"Gee, guys, it's two o' clock and we haven't even showered yet" said Lily talking out her sexual fantasy. "I know! We could save a lot of time if we all shower _together!_ Great idea, Miley!" Lily masturbated silently for a while.

"Oops," said Lily. "How clumsy of me! I dropped the soap! I'd better pick it up!" Lily shoved her fingers inside herself hard and fast. "OH!" shrieked Lily. "Oh, Oliver, you naughty boy!"

Lily masturbated silently for a while. "Oh yeah!" said Lily. "Keep going, Oliver! Don't stop!" Lily masturbated harder and faster as she moaned and groaned slightly louder for about 20 seconds, then shrieked as she had an orgasm! Her orgasm was even bigger than the ones she had when she thought about Gabe Lomotty!

When she finished, she sat up with a surprised expression. "I _do _like Oliver!" said Lily. She stood up and moved to the center of the room. Lily was really confused. She just found out she liked Oliver, but she and Miley were a couple, and her feelings for Miley were just as strong. "But how can I like Oliver?" Lily said. "I thought I liked _Miley! _She's my girl!"

Lily walked to the other side of the room, then, it hit her. "_That's it!" _said Lily quietly with her index finger up. "She's my _girl, _not my guy." Lily paced around her room as she talked. "One of the main reasons Miley and I started this whole same sex relationship thing was because we were frustrated that we didn't have boyfriends! If I wanted a boyfriend so badly, maybe I'm starting to wish I had turned to Oliver first! Oliver is the only guy I've ever felt truly comfortable around, and I've known him even longer than I've known Miley! _That's_ why I like him!"

Another thought occurred to Lily. "Well, either that or I'm just jealous."

**Four days later**

**Crowley Corners, Tennessee**

It was spring break, and the Stewart family had gone on vacation to Uncle Earl and Aunt Pearl's farm. Miley and Jackson always thought spring break was about being with friends, but then again, they saw their friends pretty much every day anyway. The car that was hauling them pulled up to the drive way and Uncle Earl came out to greet them.

"HE-HE-HEY!" greeted Uncle Earl. "LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN! It's mah' country singin' brother, mah' pop singin' niece, and mah'...booger pickin' nephew!"

"Stop! You're embarrasin' me!" said Jackson joking around.

"Great to see ya', Uncle Earl!" said Miley.

"Aw yeah," said Uncle Earl. "Lemme' see Hannah Montana!" Miley walked up to Uncle Earl and hugged him intimately. When the hug parted and Uncle Earl drew his attention to Robbie Ray, Miley made a disgusted face and waved her hand in front of her. God, Uncle Earl stunk!

After Uncle Earl greeted all three of them, Jackson walked into the farm house. In the living room, there was a young guy with buck teeth sitting in a chair. He was scratching a corn cob with a knife.

"SHAGGY!" greeted Jackson.

"JACKSON!" greeted Shaggy in a goofy southern accent. Shaggy got up and hugged Jackson. "So, what are ya' doin' there?" asked Jackson.

"Oh, just doin' some corn cob art" said Shaggy. "I'm tryin' to make it look like President Obama, but instead it looks like Johnny Knocksville!"

"Oh well," said Jackson. "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."

Jackson went into the next room, when suddenly, a bunch of fully grown squashes fell on his head! Jackson groveled in pain and fell to the floor. Little did Jackson notice, Luann, Jackson's cousin, was standing nearby the entrance of the room, holding a rope with the other end suspended on the ceiling; apparently a booby trap. Luann gasped.

"Sweet potato pie!" Luann exclaimed. Luann went up to Jackson to help him up. "Awww, I'm sorry, Jackson," said Luann. "I thought you were Miley."

"Good god, Luann!" said Jackson. "That hurt! And you were gonna' do this to _Miley?_ You're cold!"

"Aww, come on, Jackson," said Luann. "I know you don't like Miley any more'n' I do."

"Yeah, but you go too far!" said Jackson. "Don'tcha' have a better use for all this squash? Whydoncha' put it on display at the county fair or somethin'?"

After that cold hearted welcome, there was no way Jackson would hug Luann. Jackson went out the back door onto the back porch. There was a pasture right behind the porch, which was separated by a fence.

"Aunt Pearl?" Jackson called. "Scooby?" Suddenly, Jackson saw Miley in the pasture. She was riding on Blue Jeans, her horse in Tennessee. She was already wearing a cowgirl hat, and she seemed really happy.

"YEAH!" cheered Miley.

"Gee," said Jackson. "She seems more exited to see Blue Jeans than her _human _relatives." Jackson didn't know why, but he somehow found himself starring at Miley for a while. Miley rode all the way to the back of the pasture, then started riding straight to the front in Jackson's direction with a smile on her face. If Jackson couldn't do any better, he would almost think she were smiling at _him._ Jackson looked at her skeptically. Gee, what was wrong with him? What was so fascinating about his sister? Suddenly, while riding Blue Jeans, Miley unzipped and removed her jacket, revealing that she was TOPLESS underneath! Miley's bare boobs bounced as she rode, and Jackson imagined them making a bouncing sound.

Miley took off her hat and waved it. "YIPEE-TY-AY!" cheered Miley. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jackson was shocked! Miley continued to ride towards Jackson. "WEEEEEEEEE!" cheered Miley. "RIDE 'EM COWGIRL!" Jackson suddenly started smiling and nodding at the sight. He mouthed the word "HOO!" Jackson couldn't believe it. He actually _liked _the sight! Seeing his sister ride a horse topless with her boobs bouncing looked so hot! Who needed a girlfriend when he had the hottest sister in the world?

Miley started to reach the edge of the fence and came to a stop. "Jackson!" called Miley in a friendly tone. Jackson snapped out of his trance and payed attention to Miley's voice. "Jackson, wake up!" said Miley. "You're having an orgasm!" Jackson made a surprised expression, then looked down at his crotch.

One second Jackson was on the back porch in broad daylight, the next second he was in bed at night. Jackson suddenly realized he had not gone to Crowley Corners, Tennessee yet. He was still in Los Angelas, California. He had not gone to visit Uncle Earl and Aunt Pearl yet. He was still at home. It wasn't Monday, it was Thursday night (technically, it was Friday at 3:00 in the morning). A dream. It had all been another erotic dream about Miley! Jackson sat up and made an complaining motion. "Oh no," said Jackson out loud. "Not again!"

Suddenly, Jackson heard a familiar voice say "Hey, big bro." Jackson looked in the direction of the voice and saw MILEY right beside him in bed, topless! She was smiling and waving at him. Jackson heard some dramatic, haunting tunes briefly play.

"Wanna' roll in the sack?" asked Miley flirtatiously as she rubbed Jackson's leg. Jackson screamed.

One second Miley was beside Jackson in bed, the next she wasn't, and Jackson was waking up from a deep sleep. Well how do you like that! A double dream! Jackson hated those. This made Jackson very angry. Jackson just didn't know what to do about these disgusting dreams! He couldn't explain why he was having them either! Was there something deep down inside of him that had sexual feelings for Miley? Impossible! She was his _sister!_ The worst sister in the world! He took Coop's advice, he did some mean things to Miley, and he was still having the dreams!

Jackson growled in anger. He then got out of bed and took a flashlight out of his nightstand drawer. He walked across his dark room and shined the light on the Hannah Montana poster he had hung up in his room, which had been insultingly altered with paper cutouts to make Hannah look like a crazed monster. "_Yooooooooouuuuuu!_" said Jackson in a scratchy voice as he pointed at the poster. "_Stay out of mah' dreams, woman!" _said Jackson through clenched teeth._  
_

Jackson got the feeling he hadn't been mean enough to Miley. He had to do something worse. He didn't know how, but it was time to take off the gloves!

Many hours later, Miley was walking on the beach, and Oliver came up to her quickly.

"MILEY!" called Oliver running up to Miley. "Miley! Miley!"

"Hi, Oliver!" said Miley in a very friendly tone. "How was your day with Lily?"

Oliver hesitated briefly. "Uh...yeah, sure it was fine" said Oliver with in apathy. "Anyway..." said Oliver in a normal tone. "Miley, there's something I've got to tell you, and I'm not sure how."

"Well, come on, Oliver," said Miley happily. "You can tell me anything! You're my best guy bud! Well, of course, you're my _only _guy bud...but that just makes you all the more special!"

"I know before I got a little upset about you spending so much time with Lily," said Oliver. "And I was, but...I'm starting to think it was something a little more than that."

Miley put on a sensitive expression. "You're not upset at me for something else, are you?" asked Miley.

"No no no," said Oliver reassuringly. "I'm not upset at all right now, you're fine." Oliver paused. "But there's something that's been on my mind that I just have to get out" said Oliver. "Miley, I..."

"OLIVER!" called a familiar voice from just down the beach. It was Lily, of course. She ran up to Oliver and Miley, and huffed and puffed briefly when she reached them. "Oliver," said Lily. "There's something I got to tell you."

Oliver turned to Lily. He gestured toward Miley as he said "Lily, I'm kind of busy right now-..."

"THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!" said Lily frantically. There was a brief pause. Lily frowned with her teeth showing and her eyebrows slanted. "Sorry," said Lily feeling a little embarrassed. "Didn't mean to sound crazy. Oliver, I did some thinking last night, and...I'm dealing with some very conflicting feelings right now."

"_So am I!"_ said Oliver gesturing towards Miley.

"Ok, guys," said Miley impatiently. "I don't mean to play favorites, but you two need to reach an agreement on who goes first."

"Well," said Oliver. "Ladies first, I guess."

"Um..." said Lily. "As long as Miley is here, I'm not sure which one of you I should say this to directly!" Lily looked back and forth between Oliver and Miley.

"PICK ONE!" yelled Miley and Oliver at the same time.

Lily turned to Miley. "Miley..." she said. "I have feelings for Oliver!"

Miley was shocked! _"Same sex lover say what?"_ said Miley.

Oliver was shocked too. "You do?" yelled Oliver.

Lily turned to Oliver. "Yes, Oliver" said Lily. "You're the only guy I've ever felt truly comfortable with! I mean, all other guys seem so cool and secure with themselves that they're intimidating! But you, you're a lot more sensitive, and...dare I say it, dorky! If you're a dork, that's ok with me! In fact I _love _it! And I've never really been with a guy, so I want to have my first intimate, opposite sex experience with you!"

Oliver had never been so flattered in his life, but something was wrong. "Lily," said Oliver. "I'm very touched, but I already told you..." Oliver turned his eyes toward Miley, who was looking at him impatiently with her arms crossed. Oliver turned to Miley. "Miley..." said Oliver. "_I _have feelings for _you!"_

Miley was shocked again, and this time somewhat disgusted. "_Jealous guy friend say what?"_ said Miley.

"Miley," said Oliver. "I know I ended my obsession with you when I found out you were..." Oliver closed in and whispered "Hannah Montana", then went back to normal volume saying "But I've know you for such a long time, and I've really gotten to know the real you!" Oliver closed in and whispered "And judging by your songs, I'm pretty sure that's what you wanted." Oliver then spoke out loud "You more than just a pretty face! You're an awesome person! I'm definitely not a popular guy, and you're one of the only two girls who have ever given me a chance. Plus, I felt very close to you two days ago when we were here. I love you, Miley!"

Miley made a surprised expression. "Gee," stated Miley. "I don't know whether to be touched or creeped out."

"But Oliver!" said Lily. "_I _love _you!"_

"Lily!" said Miley sensitively. "You like Oliver now? Are you seriously going to leave me after everything we've been through? YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Suddenly, everyone else on the beach stopped what they were doing and looked at Miley. There was silence for a moment. The only sounds that could be heard were the sea gulls squawking and the rolling of the waves in the ocean. Miley realized she said that way too loud. She squinted her eyes and clenched her teeth.

"Sweet nibblets" said Miley painfully.

Lily turned towards the spectators. "What are you perverts lookin' at?" yelled Lily in a crazy voice. "There's nothing more to hear! If you're the voyeur type, get your own life!" Everyone else on the beach went back to their own business.

Lily turned back to Miley. "Lily," said Miley sensitively. "I love you, and I need you, and right now, the thought of us being just friends makes me uncomfortable! I need you as a lover! You can't just leave me like this!"

"Don't worry, Miley!" said Oliver sensitively. "You'll have me! Why not have an _opposite _sex lover?"

"But Oliver!" said Lily. "_I _want you! I want to be more than friends!"

"Ok, both of you just...be quiet a minute!" yelled Miley. There was a brief moment of silence between the three of them. "Let me get this straight..." said Miley. "I like Lily, Lily likes Oliver, and Oliver likes me?"

"Yeah" said Lily and Oliver calmly at the same time.

"Gee," said Lily. "How are we going to solve this problem?"

They each thought briefly. Then, Oliver made a provocative smile. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said Oliver.

Miley and Lily looked into Oliver's eyes, trying to read his dirty mind. Miley made a provocative grin of her own. "Oooooo," said Miley. "I think I know."

"Me too" said Lily with the same expression.

They all looked at each other back and forth for a while, then all three of them shouted at the same time "A THREESOME!"

**Stay tuned for chapter 2 "More than just three friends"**


	2. More than just three friends

**A/N.: For those of you who actually like my fanfics, I'm sorry I took so long to finish this chapter, but I like to plan my stories in advance and I'm trying to finish the story in as few chapters as possible.**

**Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!**

**Chapter 2: "More than just three friends"**

After spring break, when Miley got back from visiting her Uncle Earl and Aunt Pearl, Miley, Lily, and Oliver were ready to start their threesome! Miley asked if Lily and Oliver did anything together while she was gone (preferably intimate activities), but Lily assured her that they would never start anything without her. That warmed Miley's heart all the more. It was Sunday night, and Miley had driven Oliver and Lily to a parking lot near the woods, which was a hot makeout point. Oliver was in the front seat, and Lily was in the back. Since Miley had already kissed Lily many times (frankly more times than she had kissed anyone else), she wanted to do something special for Oliver. She had already given him the best apology ever, but now it was time to make it last.

Miley turned to Oliver. "So, Oliver," said Miley flirtatiously. "Ready to have a _real _girlfriend?"

"Or two?" said Lily.

Oliver looked at Miley nervously. She looked so lovely, the way the light of the moon shined on her smooth skin. Oliver started to picture Miley standing in the grass, spinning around in a skirt, barefoot, as she was surrounded by bright fireflies. There were shooting stars in the sky, and then he pictured tiny little girl faeries with wands flying around her. Even the faeries gawked at her.

"Awww," said Miley. "Are you nervous again?"

"Who, me?" said Oliver coming to his senses. "Oh, hell no, I'm smokin' Oaken! I'm a lady's man! Everyone knows I can! I make out with girls in the back of a luxury van!" Oliver chanted.

Miley and Lily laughed at Oilver's rhyming. "I find that oddly charming now" said Miley. Completely confident, Miley put her arm around Oliver and closed in for a kiss. But poor Oliver. He tried to make Miley and Lily _think _he was confident, but now it was too hard to hide his fear. Oliver backed away from Miley as he made a sissy groveling noise.

"Oh, who am I kidding?" said Oliver loudly. "I am nervous! I'm even more nervous than the time we did that Romeo and Juliet play in middle school!"

"Um, yeah, about that," said Miley still in a flirty tone. "I think it's about time we _finished _that..." With that, Miley closed in again to try to kiss Oliver. Oliver still backed away in fear.

"What are you so scared of, Oliver?" said Lily from the back seat. "You've known both of us for so long. You should feel comfortable with us!"

Oliver couldn't believe how much of a wimp he was. At the same time, he feared he was hurting Miley's feelings. "It's not that" assured Oliver. "I _do _feel comfortable with you. It's just that...I've never kissed a girl before."

"Come on, Oliver," said Miley smiling. "Even _I've _kissed a girl!"

"Oliver," said Lily. "This whole threesome thing was your idea, so don't tell me you're going to wuss out on us."

"Yeah," said Miley. "It's not that hard. All you have to do is..." suddenly, Miley grabbed Oliver and _forcibly_ kissed him! It lasted about ten seconds.

When the kiss parted, Oliver was vibrating intensely. "HOO!" said Oliver loud and high pitched as if he were suffocating. "HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT!" said Oliver fanning off his mouth.

Then suddenly, Oliver calmed down. He looked at Miley and smiled. "Say, that was _nice" _said Oliver modestly. Miley and Oliver just smiled at each other for a while as Lily smiled at them hopefully. Then, both Miley and Oliver slowly closed into each other and finally shared an intimate kiss.

"OH BABY!" cheered Lily. "You go, boy! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Miley and Oliver continued to kiss. Oliver couldn't believe he got his first kiss from his girl bud! And now he was making out with her! Although it was awfully intimidating, Oliver was glad Miley forced him into the first kiss, otherwise he wouldn't have known what to do. Somehow, he had to already have an idea of what it felt like for him to really try it. Now, since Oliver had known Miley for so long, it was seeming so much easier by the minute! Miley put her mouth over Oliver's nose a few times, and Oliver kind of giggled when she did that.

"You got a wet nose now," flirted Miley. "So now you're a doggy!"

"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" said Oliver.

"Oh, come on," said Miley. "You can do better than that."

Oliver made a flirty wolf howl. "That's better!" said Miley.

"Gee, you two seem really close now" said Lily feeling worried. "Now _I'm _starting to feel left out."

Oliver kneeled on the seat of the car and turned his head toward the back seat. "Don't worry, Lily pop," said Oliver. "You'll get your turn." With that, Oliver kissed his own fingers and rubbed them on Lily's face.

Lily swooned. "_Lily pop!"_ said Lily bashfully. "I like it!"

Oliver sat back down facing Miley. Before Oliver could make another move, Miley started brushing the back of her head against Oliver's chest. "_Meow...meow_" said Miley. Then she started to make purring noises. Oliver did a sissy giggle.

"That's what I love about you, Oliver," said Miley with her head still up against his chest. "You're such a dork." Miley rubbed Oliver's head.

"Wow, Miley," said Oliver. "I never thought this could happen. You kiss me, you chew my nose, you brush me like a kitty cat, and you rub my head."

"Uh, rubbing your head, that was me!" said Lily.

Miley and Oliver made out for about a half hour, then, for the first time, Oliver and Lily kissed, which was much easier after Oliver having made out with Miley. Since Lily was the one who fell for Oliver (probably out of jealousy), it felt really good for Lily. Lily really stuck her tongue deeply into Oliver's mouth. Lily tried to be creative with ways of showing affection, like Miley. She put her hands on the sides of Oliver's face and rubbed them back and forth. She turned Oliver's head sideways and stuck her tongue in his ear. She also did exactly what Miley did to her the first time they had sex, rubbing her boobs in Oliver's face.

"Oh, you copycat!" joked Miley.

"I thought of it first!" joked Lily.

"You did not!" said Miley playfully.

Later, Oliver wanted to really enjoy watching Miley and Lily do each other. He had hung out with them one to three times when they became a couple, and it was a little hard for him to enjoy it then. But now, it seemed too incredible to believe! Miley and Lily kissed in the back seat with Oliver watching from the front seat.

"WOOOOOOO!" cheered Oliver. "Oh baby! You girls are sexy!" Oliver paused, and his expression turned squeamish. "I can't believe I just said that about my friends!" said Oliver feeling embarrassed.

"We won't tell if you won't tell" said Lily.

Oliver looked confused. "She's just kidding, Oliver," said Miley giving Oliver a kiss. "There's no need to be ashamed." Miley and Lily continued to kiss and Oliver continued to enjoy it. Soon, Miley stopped and did something similar to what she did the first time she and Lily had sex. She sang a short song.

"_Baby baby,_

_I don't care if were from the same world_

_I want to have you,_

_You could give me chocolates and some pearls_

_The Los Angelas girls are hot_

_And you know I'd hook up with them,_

_On the spot_

_Can't get 'em off my mind_

_Crazy for the girls!_

_We want 'em all the time_

_Crazy for the girls!_

"Wooooooo!" cheered Oliver and Lily. "Wow, Miley," said Lily. "You have such a great voice!"

"And you're so creative!" said Oliver. "And don't forget dir-tay!" said Oliver showing a sign of sheer personality.

"Ooo!" said Miley. "That gives me an idea!" Miley then did some rhyming.

"You two are mah' prit-tays! You 'ain't got no zit-tays! You're like two kit-tays! And I always let you play with mah' tit-tays!"

Lily and Oliver Laughed. Then Oliver said "Wait a minute, 'play with your tit-tays'? You haven't done that." Oliver swallowed hard.

Miley put on a provocative smile and leaned the side of her head towards Oliver. "You just wait, smokin' Oaken!"

Two days later, Miley, Lily, and Oliver were on the beach. They were all in nothing but bathing suits this time. Miley and Lilly ended up both applying sunscreen to Oliver at the same time. Oliver had never felt this close to anyone in his life! He had always dreamed of being with a girl, but he never thought he'd end up with _two _girls!

Oliver was applying sunscreen to Miley, and it felt good! "Oh, it's so much easier to do this without having to hide my feelings!" said Oliver.

"Yeah," said Lily. "We're not going to freak out if we notice you have a boner!"

Oliver laughed sarcastically as he noticed a couple of people looking at them.

Oliver turned to Lily. "Keep it down," said Oliver quietly. "There are people starring."

"Oh, don't worry, Oliver" said Miley. "They're just jealous." Miley turned towards the onlookers and stuck her tongue out at them.

A moment later, Oliver had gotten back from Rico's with a tray of nachos covered with melted cheese. "Nacho _cheeeeeese _for the pretty lad_ieeeeeees!_" said Oliver once again trying to charm Miley and Lily. But, as usual, he tried to be cool, and something embarrassing happened. As he started to sit down, he lost his footing, and fell face first into the nachos. "WHAO!" he exclaimed when he fell. He made the same sound he made once when he faked a nose bleed. He slowly got up, revealing that his face was covered in cheese.

"Ooo!" said Lily. "I know how to fix this!" With that, Lily started licking the cheese off of Oliver's face.

"Hey!" said Miley. "Save some for me!" Miley then joined in on the licking.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" laughed Oliver feeling turned on. This was just awesome. Two girls liked him for being a dork!

A half hour later, Miley, Lily, and Oliver went into the ocean. They splashed each other, grappled, dunked, and were laughing the whole time. Throughout the dunking, a couple of times, Lily got dunked so much that she felt they were _suffocating _her! They hardly let her come up for air! But of course, it was easy for Miley, since she had the lungs of a singer. The only time they weren't laughing was when they did what was called a "triple kiss." All three of them kissed at the same time, and they ended up brushing their tongues together!

After a while, when the sun was halfway down the horizon, they left the ocean and dried themselves off with their towels. "Wow," said Lily tired but happy. "You guys are so much fun I can hardly breathe."

They sat down on the sand for a while and remained silent, catching their breath. "So, Oliver," said Miley with a smile. "Do you like train rides through long tunnels?"

Oliver thought for a moment. "Uh, yeah" he said. "It was fun that one time we rode the train all the way to Phoenix for the Lakers game."

Lily playfully punched Oliver in the shoulder. "She's asking you if you want to have sex, silly!" said Lily.

A lot of dramatic things had been happening to Oliver lately, and each time they happened, it always made him nervous. But he was with two people he felt totally comfortable with, and by now, he was starting to get used to it. He really surprised himself with the next thing he said.

"Oh," said Oliver with a smile and his idex finger up. "Right!" Miley and Lily giggled.

One hour later, night had fallen, and Miley had taken Lily and Oliver back to her house. It was so nice that Robbie Ray was just letting her do what she wanted now. Not only did he promise to give her the privacy she needed and deserved, but on top of that, it was just Lily and Oliver, he trusted them. Lily and Oliver were so close to Miley and her family that Robbie Ray had been just letting them walk into his house for the past couple of years. Miley had even considered getting them keys to their house.

"You three look like you're about to have some real fun!" said Robbie Ray friendly when they all came in.

"Yeah, dad," said Miley reassuringly. "Don't worry, we're not going to jump off the edge."

"I believe ya'," said Robbie Ray. "Hell, I remember mah' first time. Tiffany Storm, she was a hottie. We went in to the back seat of mah' car, and, you know what they say, never jump out of a plane without a parachute!"

"Uh, yeah," said Miley feeling disgusted. "Too much information."

Miley brought Lily and Oliver upstairs, into her room. Miley slowly shut the door, and turned her head toward Oliver and Lily with a provocative smile. She kicked off her sandals and walked towards Oliver in a very sexy way. Miley and Oliver started kissing. As they kissed, Lily put her arms around the backside of Oliver and sucked on his neck. This went on for about 30 seconds, then, still holding onto Oliver, and kissing him, Miley pulled Oliver towards her bed. Lily was still holding onto Oliver in this process too! Miley turned Oliver and Lily to the side.

"Better let go a minute, Lily pop," flirted Miley. "This next step's a dousy." Lily let go of Oliver and moved to the other side. Miley pinned Oliver down on the bed and continued kissing him. Lily kneeled down and repeatedly grabbed Miley's butt with both hands. Oliver ran his fingers through Miley's hair as he kissed her. What Lily did next was a little difficult with Miley on top of Oliver, but she managed to remove Oliver's shoes and socks. Lily took off her own sandals, lifted Miley's leg, and started licking the bottom of her foot. Miley suddenly parted her kiss with Oliver and started laughing as her head shot up real fast.

"What's so funny?" said Oliver with a grin.

"Hahahahaha that tickle-hle-hle-hle-hles!" laughed Miley.

Oliver frowned. "Oh, am I that bad of a kisser?" complained Oliver.

"Not you-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" said Miley holding back laughter. "Lily-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!"

Oliver couldn't see what Lily was doing from the position he was in. "Gee, _I _think she's a pretty good kisser" said Oliver.

"I'm licking her feet, Oliver!" said Lily.

"Oh, that's a relief" said Oliver.

"Cut it out, Lily!" said Miley playfully.

"Ok," said Lily. "How about I do this instead?" Lily quickly pulled Miley's pants partway down. It was a shame Lily couldn't see her bare butt right away, since Miley still had her damp bikini bottom on.

"You know," said Oliver with a grin. "When you started laughing, you spit on me."

"Oh yeah?" said Miley. "Well now, my spit is about to go inside your mouth!" With that, Miley french kissed Oliver. As they kissed, Lily pulled Miley's pants all the way off, which was easy, since she was wearing elastic pants again.

Miley and Oliver's kiss parted. "It's a good thing I never thought girls had cooties in my entire life" said Oliver.

"I used to think _boys _had cooties," said Miley. "But now...I _like _cooties!" Miley continued french kissing Oliver. Lily started to pull down Miley's sticky bathing suit, but Miley stopped her.

"WHOA-HO-HO-HO!" Miley exclaimed looking behind her. "Lily, when you undress someone, you go top to bottom."

"Oh, come on, Miley!" said Lily. "Does everything have to be like movies?" said Lily in a funny voice.

"Lily," said Miley. "Honey, that's what you do when you have a new partner."

"But I've had sex with you seven times!" said Lily still in a funny voice.

"Yes," said Miley. "But you ha-..." Miley stopped when she noticed what Lily just said. "Who's counting? Are you?" criticized Miley. Lily shrugged with her teeth showing. "Neither of us have had sex with Oliver before," said Miley getting back on subject. "So it's not a good idea to show him anything below the waist too soon."

"Except for your sexy feet, of course" said Oliver.

"Oh," said Miley with a giggle.

"No need, Lily," said Oliver. "I'll do the honers." Oliver then stuck his hands under Miley's shirt and started to remove it. Miley smiled as she put her legs on the bed to straddle Oliver, making it easier for him to remove her shirt. Oliver pulled it up, Miley lifted her arms, and it came all the way off the top of her head, revealing her damp bikini top. Oliver tossed it aside.

"Wow," said Miley. "You seem so much braver now."

"It's...a matter of opinion" said Oliver nervously.

"Come on, Oliver," said Miley. "You touched my boobs before, and you can do it again."

Oliver took a deep breath, and started squeezing Miley's boobs. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho..." groaned Oliver. Lily got onto the bed, on her knees, and started kissing Miley while Oliver squeezed Miley's boobs. Miley removed Lily's shirt and started squeezing her boobs. Miley got off of Oliver, Lily took her legs out from under her, and Miley got on top of Lily to make out with her as Lily had her head on the pillow. After 30 seconds, Oliver pulled Miley off of Lily and said "Hey, save some for me!"

"We're probably going to be saying that a lot to each other from now on" said Miley as she ran her hand along Oliver's back. Lily and Oliver kissed for 21 seconds and then Miley lifted Oliver up and removed his shirt. Miley closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around Oliver, and pressed her face against his chest. Miley loved the feel of Oliver's warm skin, and Oliver felt so close to Miley like this. Miley sucked Oliver's nipples briefly.

"I still don't understand why guys have nipples" said Oliver. "Honestly! Male cartoon characters don't have nipples!"

"I don't know," said Lily. "Go figure God."

"Welllll, Oliver" said Miley provocatively. "Wanna' see some _real _nipples?" Oliver shuddered pleasantly and nervously. Oliver was helpless to answer, so Miley just slowly took off her bikini top.

"Oooohhhh Miley..." said Oliver. "I love you!"

"You know," said Miley. "Last week on the beach, when I was greasing you up, I could have sworn I heard you say 'I love you' then. _Did_ you, lover boy?"

"Yes," said Oliver blissfully. "I did, and I meant it. I meant it then, I mean it now."

Lily sat up and put her arms around Oliver. "Do you love me too?" asked Lily sweetly.

"Yes, Lily pop," said Oliver. "I love you too. I love you both."

"AWWWWW!" said Lily. "And I didn't even have to take off my top first! You're so sweet and sensitive, Oliver!"

"I love you, Lily pop" said Miley. "I love you, Ollie pop!" said Miley to Oliver.

Oliver laughed quietly. "_Ollie pop!"_ said Oliver. "I like it!"

"I love you guys!" said Lily.

Everything was falling into place for all three of them now. Miley turned off the lights, and all three of them were completely undressed within seconds. Oliver squeezed Miley's boobs while kissing her, then did the same with Lily. They all triple kissed for a while, enjoying their three person relationship. Miley and Lily grabbed each other's boobs for about as long as all three of them triple kissed. Miley sucked on Oliver's butt and smacked it, then Lily did the same. Miley and Lily each fondled Oliver's dic, but Oliver told them both to go easy on the balls. Although the lights were off, there was enough light for them all to see each other's hot bodies, so Oliver didn't mind. Pretty soon, they were ready to finish each other off, which would consist of two parts, since there were three of them.

"So," said Oliver. "Which one of you am I going to spank?"

"ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!" said Lily with her sexual desires really coming out.

"Well, Oliver," said Miley who wasn't as bashful as Lily. "As much as I'd love to have your dic up my ass," Miley turned to Lily. "Lily, I'll let you have anal sex with him."

"YOU WILL?" said Lily overjoyed. "Oh, you're the best girlfriend ever!" said Lily as she gave Miley a hug and kiss. "Wow, Miley, for a girl who's never had sex with a guy, you sure are giving!"

Miley suddenly made a squeamish expression. She had a flashback in her mind of the time she, as Hannah Montana, had sex with Jake Ryan and Ashley Tisdale 2 months ago. "Right...giving!" said Miley nervously. "That's what I am!" _Sweet nibblets!_ thought Miley. _How much longer am I going to keep this a secret? The guilt is eating away at my heart!_ Miley never told Lily about having sex with Jake Ryan and Ashley Tisdale. At first, the reason she didn't tell her was because it was before the first time she and Lily had sex, or even hooked up at all, and Miley thought Lily would be offended and grossed out by Miley having a same sex hookup. Then, when _Lily _actually had a same sex hookup with Miley, Miley was afraid Lily would be hurt by the fact that she had sex with a girl she just met over her long time best friend (before Lily). To this day, she was still afraid of that.

After Lily had anal sex with Oliver, and Lily gave Miley oral sex, they were all laying down under the sheets, still awake, with smiles on their faces. Oliver was in the middle, Miley was on his right, and Lily was on his left. Oliver had his arms around both of them. "Wow," said Oliver. "In addition to loving you both so much, you have no idea how much this means to me. It feels so good not to have to play catch with a boomerang anymore!"

Miley and Lily laughed. "Believe me, Oliver," said Lily. "All three of us know that feeling." Lily sat up. "Miley, can you sit up a minute?" Miley sat up. "OK, Oliver," said Lily. "What I'm about to do to Miley, don't try this. I'm her BFF, so I'm a professional."

Miley swallowed hard. Lily put her arm around Miley, gave her what seemed at first like a regular kiss on the cheek, but then she gave her what was more like a _zerbit!_ A big loud one! Oliver sat up and burst out laughing. Miley seemed stunned at first, but then she laughed too. Then Lily.

"Oh, god, Lily!" said Miley laughing. "That was a raspberry kiss!"

They all laughed more. "I can see why she wouldn't want _me_ to do that to her!" said Oliver. They all laughed for a little while longer, then calmed down and were silent for a while.

"_Miley?"_ said Oliver sweetly.

"_Yeeeeeees, _Ollie pop?" answered Miley sweetly.

"_Sing us a Hannah Montana song..."_ requested Oliver sweetly.

"Awwwwww!" said Miley. Miley started singing one of her Hannah Montana songs.

_"How did I get here?_

_Turned around and there you were_

_I didn't even try to rationalize_

_But somehow I knew_

_That there was more than just chemistry_

_I mean I knew you were kind of into me_

_But I figured it's too _

_Good to be true_

_I said pinch me, where's the catch this time?_

_Can't find a single cloud in the sky_

_Help me before I get used to this guy"_

Miley paused her singing briefly and spoke "_Or girl!" _as she pointed at Lily. Lily smirked.

_They say that good things take time_

_But really great things happen in the blink of an eye_

_Thought the chances to meet some people like you were a million to one  
_

_I cannot believe it_

_Who oh ho_

_You're two in a million!_

Lily and Oliver were so charmed that they laughed, clapped, and hugged and kissed Miley.

The next night, Jackson was watching T.V. when he heard Miley yell "JACKSOOOOOOOOON!" Miley came down the stairs wearing her Hannah Montana clothes, but not the wig. Instead, she was carrying a wig that was redish orange. "Jackson," said Miley angrily. "What did you do to my Hannah wig?"

"I gave it a new look" said Jackson with a grin. "You like?"

"Jackson," said Miley. "I have to be at the civic center in a half hour and I can't show up with orange hair!"

"Well," said Jackson still grinning. "It always seemed to work for Bozo!" Jackson pretended to squeeze a clown's nose and made a honking noise.

Miley had just about had it with Jackson's shenanigans. "What is wrong with you, Jackson?" yelled Miley. "You've been tormenting me for the past two weeks! This is low even for you!"

"You're mah' bratty little sister" said Jackson still with a nasty grin. "It's what I do best!"

"Your bratty little si-...!" said Miley as she stopped in mid sentence. "Come on! Surely you have some kind of ulterior motive! Are you still mad about the time I put supper glue in your comb?"

Jackson's expression turned from mischievous to angry. "Super glue in mah' comb?" said Jackson sternly. "SUPER GLUE IN MAH' COMB? You don't know the half of what you did, sis."

Miley was mad and puzzled at the same time. "Excuse me?" said Miley. There was a brief pause.

"Miley," said Jackson as he walked around the room. "Don't we see each other enough in our _waking _lives without you _INVADIN' MAH' DREAMS?"_

Miley gasped offendedly. Miley was surprised that Jackson told her something about his dreams. He may not have given her the details, but that was kind of private. At the same time, she couldn't believe Jackson was getting mad at her for something that was beyond her control. "Is _that _what this is about!" said Miley. "Well ex-ca-_use m_e for playing sandman!"

"More like the the _boogie man!"_ said Jackson followed by making a scary face and hissing with his fingers curved.

"Look, whatever your _lit-tle _boyish nightmares are like," said Miley waving her index finger. "Can't you find it in your heart to forgive me?" said Miley sensitively. There was a brief pause. Miley walked halfway out of the room, then stopped and looked back at Jackson. "I'm sorry for being in your life!" said Miley emotionally. Miley exited the room and Jackson sat on the couch feeling bummed out. Jackson had been really desperate to do something about these gross dreams he had been having about Miley, and right now, it only seemed to be making things worse. It was one thing to have bad dreams, but to have bad things happen in real life was another.

The next day, Jackson was at school, digging through his locker. Coop and Thor came up to him. "Hey, Jackson" said Coop. "How are things workin' out with your sister?"

Jackson shut his locker, and looked at Coop sadly. "Well..." said Jackson. "I did exactly what you told me...I did some pretty mean things to her, and...all it's done is made her real mad at me." There was a brief moment of silence. "And you know what the worst part is?" said Jackson. "I still keep havin' dirty dreams about her! Last night, I dreamed she was a mermaid washed ashore. She was topless, then Posieden emerged from the ocean and used his magic trident to turn her completely human, and then..." Jackson stared off into space. "We got it on on the beach."

"Dang, that's too bad" said Coop. "I don't know what the problem with yo' mind is."

There was a brief pause, then Thor said "Hey, I have an idea." Jackson turned to Thor. "Maybe..." said Thor. "You feel that...you and your sister...fight too much...and you have a desire...to make it better...because you love her. Or maybe...you did something wrong to her...in the past...and deep down...you feel really bad about it...and you wanna' make up with her. You may not know for sure...right away...but you just have to...look into your heart...to figure out what it is you're feeling."

Jackson was impressed! "Wow!" said Jackson with a smile. "Very insightful, Thor! How did _you _come up with that?"

"Well, I do watch a lot of soap operas!" said Thor kind of giggly. "That," said Thor with a little more confidence. "And I have a sister." Jackson smiled and nodded.

At the same time, at the school, Lily was digging through her locker. Miley came up to Lily and put her arm around her. "Hey there, lesbian lover!" flirted Miley. "Feel like a dirty public kiss?" Lily turned toward Miley, not looking so happy, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "That's it?" said Miley. "No lip lock or spit swapping? OK, something's wrong."

"No, really, Miley," said Lily. "I'm fine."

"Well, gee," said Miley feeling concerned. "You don't seem very happy. Which is odd, considering everything we've been doing lately."

"No," said Lily. "I-I-I am happy. It's just that...somehow I find myself less than satisfied."

Miley scratched her chin. "Hmmm..." she said. "You've been having sex with just me for a while now, so..." Miley inhaled deeply in shock and then made a grim look. "Was Oliver really that bad?" asked Miley.

"No," said Lily. "It's not that he was bad, I mean, I enjoyed it and all, but something was...missing."

"What's that?" asked Miley.

"I don't know," said Lily. "I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Can't put your finger on it?" said Miley. "Gee, you didn't seem to have any trouble putting your fingers on his _dic!"_

Lily gave Miley a ridiculing look. "Figure of speech, stupid!" There was a brief pause. "I don't get it" said Lily. "I've known Oliver for so long, I feel so comfortable with him, I finally hook up with him, and...it's not perfect." Lily put her hands on Miley's shoulders. "Miley," she said. "I still want to hook up with you, and no matter what happens, I still want to be friends with Oliver, but until I find out what it is I'm feeling, I don't think I should date any guys for a while."

Suddenly, an unsuspecting person came up to Lily. It was Dex. "Hi, Lily" said Dex.

"YEEEEEEEP!" Lily exclaimed. Miley was a little puzzled with Lily's reaction.

"Lily," said Dex. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go skating with me at Funway."

"OH YEAH!" said Lily. Miley made a shocked, offended expression.

"How about...I pick you up Saturday at seven?" offered Dex.

"Oh, I am so there!" said Lily.

"OK," said Dex. "So you then." Dex walked away and Lily sighed blissfully. Lily turned to Miley and saw the look she was giving her.

"What?" said Lily with a shrug.

An hour and a half later, Miley was in class before it actually started, sitting at a desk, talking to Oliver. She told Oliver about what happened with Lily. "So she just fell head over heals for him right away?" asked Oliver loudly.

"Yyyyyyyyyep" said Miley.

"And they've never dated or hung out at all before?" said Oliver feeling bad about himself.

"Nnnnnnnnnope" said Miley.

Oliver turned his head sideways to Miley briefly with a puzzled, discouraged look. "How does that work?" he said.

"That's not the point, Oliver" said Miley. "The question is, are you OK with it?" There was a brief pause.

"Yeah...I suppose" said Oliver. "After all, I always thought love wasn't about being tied down to one person."

"Yeah, I mean just look at _you_," said Miley in a flirty tone. "You had sex with two girls at the same time!" said Miley trying to build Oliver's self esteem back up.

Oliver smiled as he starred off into space briefly, then smiled at Miley. "I _did, _didn't I?" said Oliver making a cocky gesture. Miley smiled provocatively and rubbed Oliver's shoulder. Wow, it was amazing how Miley was so attracted to him now!

Three days Later, Miley and Lily were on the beach, standing up. "So, how did the date with Dex go?" said Miley exited. "Give me the dirty details!"

"Well," said Lily. "We had fun skating, quite a party, and there was this one part where we got to do this 'couples only' skate, where it played a really romantic song. Then, we went back to his car, and..."

"_Annnnnnd?"_ said Miley.

"We made out" said Lily.

Miley shrieked pleasantly. "That is so awesome!" said Miley jumping up and down. "WOO-HOO! WOO-HOO!" Miley stopped jumping and said "Why aren't you happy dancing?"

"I don't know" said Lily. There was a very brief pause. "Then after that, we gave each other oral sex."

"WOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Miley. "You go girl! Come on! Let's celebrate!" said Miley trying to get Lily to "happy dance" with her.

"I'm sorry, Miley," said Lily. "But once again, I've found myself less than satisfied."

Miley was puzzled. "Gee, Lily," said Miley. "You're not satisfied with a long term relationship, you're not satisfied with a one night stand, what's it going to take?"

"I don't know," said Lily. "It's...complicated."

"Try me" said Miley.

"I'm not even sure how to try myself!" said Lily running her hands down the side of her face. "I'm going through so much frustration, confusion, and-..."

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, came a guy who Miley and Lily hadn't seen for two years: Troy Mcann from middle school!

"Lily!" said Troy.

"YEEEEEEEEP!" Lily exclaimed. "OK! All better!"

"Lily Truscot!" said Troy. "Wow, I haven't seen you for two years!"

"Um, you know who you _also _haven't seen in two years?" said Miley stepping in front of Lily. "Me. Great ta' see ya'!"

There was a brief pause. "Miley," said Troy. "Do you mind? I'm talking to Lily."

Feeling offended, Miley stepped back to Lily's side. Lily leaned into Miley. "At least he remembers your name" said Lily.

"Well," said Troy. "Now that we've reunited, how about we play laser tag on Wednesday?"

"Why not right now?" said Lily exited.

"Well, I'm meeting my friends right now, so, Wednesday at seven, OK?"

"Oh, I am so there!" said Lily.

"Cool," said Troy. "I'll see you then."

Troy walked away. Miley gave Lily a stern look. "_Really?"_

Four days later, Miley and Lily were at Miley's house out on the deck. "So...how did the date go?" asked Miley not feeling very exited this time.

"Well..." said Lily not seeming too exited herself. Lily hesitated.

"Oh, sweet nibblets!" complained Miley. "What's it going to take to please you? You've had sex with a girl, two guys-..."

"Three" interrupted Lily.

"Two of which you've had long term relationships with," said Miley. "And you're still not satisfied? You act all 'gah gah' over them when they first ask you out, but then you come back from the date and you're not so happy?"

"I still don't know what it is I'm feeling, Miley!" said Lily sadly. "I mean, I should be happy, but I'm not. I know you're probably jealous, and I'm taking my life for granted, but...I just don't know what's wrong with me."

There was a moment of silence. "Lily," said Miley. "Why don't you just try to take your mind off the guys for a while and spend some time with me, your girlfriend?" Miley put her arms around Lily and Lily returned the embrace.

"I'd like that" said Lily with a smile. With that, they shared a romantic kiss.

"I got this cool idea for one of my Hannah Montana concerts" said Miley after the kiss parted. "It's a concert where _you, _my lovely chaperone, blend in with me on stage! Just as long as you dance."

Lily made a big smile. "That would be so cool!" said Lily. "My fans demand it" said Lily in a cocky voice. Miley laughed and they kissed again.

The next day, Jackson was sitting in his room, thinking, pondering. He was thinking about what Thor said. What Thor said seemed to make more sense than what Coop said, since being mean to Miley didn't solve anything; which was bizarre, because Jackson always thought Thor was awfully dumb. What was Jackson feeling about Miley deep down? Was it because he desired a better brother/sister relationship? Or did he feel bad about something he did to Miley in the past? Let's see, he was extremely jealous that Miley was secretly a celebrity, and Jackson was an underachiever, so he lived in her shadow, and he always thought that to have a better relationship with her may have meant enjoying her celebrity status. No, that couldn't be it. Besides, there were a number of times when after he and Miley fought, they hugged. Perhaps it was because of something bad he had done to her in the past. But what? Gee, he had tormented her in the past countless times. Not as bad as he had been doing lately, but countless times. But usually about the worst he ever did to her was diss her, gross her out, laugh at her misfortune, steal her pancakes, or buy her heartless birthday and Christmas gifts, or something. Big deal, he did those things to Miley on a regular basis, surely Miley wouldn't let those things get to her, and thus, they wouldn't get to Jackson. Jackson had to have done something far worse to her in the past. Something that really hurt her. Something that probably would have justified Miley spilling Jackson's embarrassing secret two months ago. Something that would have had a bad effect on her life outside the house. Something...then, it hit him.

Jackson remembered the time all of Hannah Montana's fans ended up thinking she was _dating Jackson!_ It was one night when, after one of Hannah's concerts, he had ridden home with her in a limo, feeling disgusted. Little did they know that they were being followed by a paparazzi. They arrived at the front door of their house. Jackson asked "Hey, Miles, got your keys on ya'?" Miley/Hannah tossed him the house keys. "Oh, sorry" said Jackson.

"Who's taking care of who?" said Miley. Jackson unlocked the door, went inside, then locked Miley out of the house! Miley tried to open the door, then said "Very funny, Jackson, now open the door!" Jackson just stuck his tongue out at her and walked away. "Jackson!" yelled Miley.

Suddenly, the paparazzi who had been following them emerged on the porch, taking pictures of Hannah. "He-hey! Hannah!" said the paparazzi. "I knew if I kept followin' ya' I'd find out where ya' live!"

At that moment, Jackson decided to stop messing with Miley and let her in. He exited the house only to have his sister put her arm around him and say "Actually, I'm here to...visit a friend!"

"Looks more like a _boyfriend _to me!" said the paparazzi taking a picture of them together. The next thing they knew, Hannah and Jackson were on the front page of the newspaper!

Miley was the one who gave the paparazzi the idea that Jackson was her boyfriend, but since the paparazzi had her cornered, how else was she going to keep her identity secret? Jackson couldn't believe it. It was his fault. It was all his fault! If he hadn't have locked Miley out of the house, that whole "Jacksannah" disaster never would have have happened! Robbie Ray was drawn to the conclusion that it was _Miley's _fault. Jackson remembered his exact words: "Son, I know your sister got herself in to this mess, but I'm afraid she's not gonna' be able to get out of it without your help." The weird thing was, Miley didn't even argue with Robbie Ray on that! She took the blame! As a result, when they all made a plan to role play "Jacksannah" breaking up, Robbie Ray punished Miley by saying _Jackson_ got to break up with _her._ Even though that's not exactly how it ended, Jackson felt that Miley got punished for something Jackson did (and the whole world thinking she was dating Jackson was punishment enough!). At this very moment, Jackson suddenly started to feel really bad. Part of it was because he had hurt Miley, and in a way, another part of it had to do with their brother/sister relationship. "Jacksannah" was a disaster, but it was an important moment in their brother/sister relationship. And Jackson felt bad about it. It was his conscience all along, reminding him that he loved Miley. That's why he had been having erotic dreams about her.

Now that he had figured this out, what would he do? Well, he figured the first thing he had to do was apologize to Miley. Both for messing with her the past two weeks, and Jacksannah. He would probably have to have an in depth conversation about it too (but he wouldn't give her the dirty details of his dreams, of course). Jackson got up and went over to Miley's room. He knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Miley called.

"Umm..." said Jackson. "It's...me...Jackson."

"What do _you _want?" snapped Miley. "Are you going to stuff me in a sleeping bag and throw me down the sewer?"

"Who do you take me for? Luann?" said Jackson. "I...I was just wonderin'...if we could...talk?"

Miley opened the door. "What?" said Miley still in a snotty tone.

"Listen, Miles," said Jackson. "I'm sorry for everything. Your bed sheets rollin' up, your hand in water while you were sleepin', your Hannah wig died orange, I'm sorry for all that."

"What made you decide to apologize?" said Miley "Dad grounding you for three weeks?"

"No, Miley," said Jackson. "I think...it was somethin' a lot more than that."

Miley's expression turned sensitive. "Like what?" asked Miley.

"Let me come in and I'll tell ya'" said Jackson. Miley opened the door all the way and Jackson came in. Miley shut the door and sat on her bed with a frown on her face. Jackson remained standing as there was a moment of silence.

"I know I've been messin' with you a lot worse than usual lately," said Jackson. "And you didn't know why. I didn't know why either."

"You've been having nightmares about me?" confirmed Miley.

"That," said Jackson. "And...someone gave me this crazy idea that in order for those nightmares to stop, and ta' deal with any conflicting feelings I might have...I had to play a little game of 'pop goes the pop star'."

"Why did you listen to them?" said Miley quietly. "You mean to tell me if someone told you to hurt your family you would do it?" There was a brief pause.

"I 'ain't proud of it either, Miles" said Jackson. There was another pause. "I've been on a quest of self discovery lately," Jackson stated. "And I get the feelin'..." Jackson sat down on Miley's bed. "That somethin' deep down inside of me feels really bad about how we're fightin' all the time."

"Well, Jackson," said Miley. "We're siblings, siblings fight all the time. It's natural."

"Again," said Jackson. "I think it's somethin' a little more than that."

"What's that?" asked Miley. There was a moment of silence as Jackson sighed.

"There's one more thing I wanted to apologize to you for" said Jackson.

"What?" asked Miley. There was another pause.

"Remember the time the world thought Hannah Montana and I were datin'?"

"UGH!" Miley groveled. "Don't remind me!"

"Trust me, Miles," said Jackson. "It's relevant." There was another pause. "Dad blamed you for the incident, and...you totally took the heat for me."

"What are you trying to say?" Miley asked.

There was a brief pause as Jackson sighed. "It was mah' fault, Miley," said Jackson. "Not yours. You were just tryin' to keep your identity secret. I was the one who locked you outa' the house." There was a brief pause. "And once the whole world knew," stated Jackson. "It musta' been _purty' hard_ for you to pretend you were attracted to me."

"_And how!" _said Miley. There was a brief pause.

"And..." said Jackson. "Since Jacksannah was a major event in our brother/sister relationship, my conscience was tellin' me that I feel really bad about it. So, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry."

"So, the reason you've been having nightmares about me is guilt?" said Miley sensitively.

Jackson hesitated. "I reckon" said Jackson.

"Jackson," said Miley as the emotion started to build up. "I can't control your dreams, and, _I'm _sorry, if I ever did anything to create that bad of an impact on your mind. Now _I _feel bad." There was a brief pause. "Oh," said Miley. "And I'm sorry I spilled your Pokemon secret to half the school."

"Gee," said Jackson with a touching smile. "Who's apologizen' ta' who?" With that, Jackson and Miley shared a tender hug.

"Our relationship is never going to be perfect" said Miley. "We'll always fight at one time or another, but in the end, we'll always love each other; and we'll always be there for each other."

"Say, you're right" said Jackson. "We _are _always there for each other. Kinda' like when we were in that alternate reality where Hannah Montana was your real name, the whole world knew, I moved out and became a grumpy old hermit, then one night I wished upon a star and changed all that!"

Miley was _SHOCKED!_ "YOU _REMEMBER _THAT?" Miley shouted.

"How could I forget?" said Jackson.

This was impossible! How could the supernatural conundrums that took place at that time have it so that Jackson's memory was affected by it? "Whoa!" said Miley. "I honestly thought that would be erased from your memory!" There was a brief pause. "Well," said Miley starting to calm down. "Here's a little something you didn't know. _This _reality we're living in now is actually how it started. One night, I decided my Hannah secret was making my life too hard, then _I _wished upon a star that I didn't have the secret, and that I was just Hannah Montana all the time. Now, some of it was good, but the star ultimately didn't grant my wish the way I wanted it, and I wanted things to go back the way they were; and _you did that for me!_"

"Yes, I did!" said Jackson.

"OK," said Miley. "This is officially the best brother/sister moment ever!" Miley and Jackson hugged one last time.

Yes, it probably was!

The next day, Miley was on the beach, and Lily called her from a slight distance. "MILEY!" she called. Lily came up to Miley. "Listen, Miley," she said friendly. "I've been doing some thinking lately"

"Really?" said Miley. "Did you figure out why you've been so unsatisfied with your love life?"

"Actually, yes" said Lily. "I've come to realize my true feelings. I had been wanting to have sex with guys for so long. But now that I finally got to, my heart was telling me something wasn't right. I'm kind of starting to feel that some of the things I've been passionate about my whole life have been nothing but a lie. When I had sex with Oliver, do you know what I felt?"

"What?" asked Miley.

"Nothing!" said Lily. "It was like shoving a cucumber up my ass! When I had sex with Dex, do you know what I felt?"

"What?" asked Miley.

"_Nothing!"_ said Lily. "It was like running a buffer over my pussy! And when I had sex with Troy, do you know what I felt?"

"Um..." said Miley. "I'm guessing nothing? And it felt like sandpaper?"

"Well," said Lily. "Actually, an itchy sweater, but you're close." Lily paused briefly. "I compared...what I felt when I was with Oliver, Dex, and Troy, with what I felt...when I was with _you._

Miley smiled squeamishly. "_Sleepin' around bed banger say what?"_ said Miley.

"For some reason," Lily stated. "Dics don't really excite me that much anymore."

Whoaaaaa boy! Miley knew Lily was hinting at something, but she wanted to be absolutely sure.

Miley put on a normal smile. "What exactly are you trying to say, sweetie?"

Lily smiled and gestured for Miley to be quiet. What Lily said next was really loud and dramatic, and she made a number of hand gestures in the process. "I like long hair, hourglass figures, painted finger nails and toe nails, and _huge boobs!_ I LIKE _GIRLS, _BABY!"

WOW! What a brilliant mission of self discovery Lily made! And it was actually admirable! If Miley's life were a T.V. show, Lily would receive a big round of applause and cheers right now. Miley would have given her applause herself, but her natural reaction seemed to be bursting out into laughter. She laughed pretty long, and as she laughed, she thudded her head against Lily's shoulder and Lily patted her back. When the laughter subsided, Miley smiled and embraced Lily. Lily made a blissful squeak.

"Well, Lily," said Miley. "You are both my BFF and my girlfriend, and I'll love you no matter what."

"Awwwww!" said Lily. "I love you too, Miley!"

"Come here, you!" said Miley. With that, she held Lily tight and aggressively rubbed her head against Lily's stomach while making intimate growling noises. Lily laughed very blissfully in the process, just as she would have used to over a guy!

"Whoa," said Lily after Miley stopped. "That felt good, Miley. Really good."

Miley smiled. "Lily the lesbian," said Miley. "That's got a nice ring to it!"

"Wow, I can't believe it," said Lily. "All my years of being a tomboy have finally caught up to me!"

"But, just so you know, Lily," stated Miley. "I still like guys, I'm bisexual."

"That's OK!" said Lily waving her hand down. "You do girls either way!"

"So," said Miley. "I guess this means you don't have feelings for Oliver anymore?"

"Welllll..." said Lily. "Only if you want him all to yourself."

"Hey," said Miley with a provocative grin. "You _can have _more than one lover."

"Cool!" said Lily bashfully.

With that, Miley and Lily shared nothing but one long intimate kiss. There were people starring at them, but they didn't care. They were so close. From now on, Miley, Lily, and Oliver would have a somewhat more complicated relationship, but Miley figured...it might be fun.

**The End**

**A/N: I know the show already used the "My Boyfriend's Jackson" episode as a flashback, but I came up with this long before "Hannah Montana Forever" was aired. This isn't even the first time this has happened! I once came up with a similar idea of the episode where Oliver dates Joanie Pulumbo, and he has to chose between his girlfriend and his best friends! Only in my version, Oliver dates _Ashley!_ Hehehe, damnit! They stole my idea! Special thanks to the reviewer, Ms. Rosalie Halie, who reviewed my previous fanfic, "The Secret Life of Miley and Hannah." She gave me some ideas for this fanfic and my future fanfics!**

**Coming soon: Hannah Montana "Let's expand"**


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